WordView: Uncovering the Positive Aspects of Anger

In a recent small group WordView session, we discussed the word “anger.” We thought about how productive this seemingly negative emotion can be, especially in regard to social justice issues. Enjoy some of the highlights of our discussion below.

Is anger a positive or negative emotion on the continuum? Why?

Our conversation on anger started off in what was, to me, a surprising direction. I had assumed that anger was a negative emotion, but just the framing of the question started me wondering if I had been closed-minded about anger. The person who got the discussion going talked about how motivating anger can be. They said that it helped them push towards action, as opposed to other emotions that tend to keep them still. They noted that anger made them think about sadness and fear, and that while fear is a motivating emotion for them, sadness tends to shut down the brain. As the discussion continued, I was pleased to have this word open up to me—no longer an assumption of negatives.

Can anger be a motivating factor for action?

The discussion developed when someone noted that anger can be a hopeful emotion because it motivates us to make changes. The positive aspect of anger can propel a person to push for change when thinking about an issue you care about, but in relation to interpersonal relations, it is not seen as being positive.  We discussed the difference in anger in interpersonal relationships versus in a “change the world” environment. One person said anger makes them lose control and how upsetting that is. In this case, anger is a negative emotion because it shuts down the mind and interactions. This anger is not the foundation for positive movement. On the flip side, anger is a passionate emotion and it gets us engaged. A social justice anger helps to ground us and is, therefore, positive. We use it to navigate ourselves toward action. On this front, we talked about how anger is a unifier, bringing people together with the hope of change. Someone even said, “I guess my job is in anger,” which made us all nod our heads in understanding.

What is the relationship between anger and culture?

The initial comments to this question brought up sexism and whether women are “allowed” to be angry. We noted that in American culture, it is often perceived as negative, but in other cultures, for example Vietnamese, strong women are revered and their anger accepted. We noted the hypocrisy that Brett Kavanaugh, in his confirmation hearings, was rewarded for his anger, while Serena Williams, at around the same time, was penalized for her anger on the court. The difference continues to anger us. One person noted that a woman’s anger is seen as emotional or irrational, while a man’s anger gets to be considered “righteous.” This difference carries into the professional world, where anger is valued in men for their passion, while women are demonized for displaying it. Outside the US, people noted that emotions are generally more acceptable to be shown at work. Also, how we speak can be misinterpreted as anger, even if that is not how you feel you are expressing yourself. For example, in some cultures, speaking loudly and intensely is how people talk, and it is not an expression of anger.

Is using anger a privilege?

In the US, though, a white person may express anger, but it is not generally acceptable for a POC. Whiteness is such a privilege that only they, and especially white men, can exhibit it in public. There is a connection between privilege and anger where people with privilege can tell others not to be angry. It is another way of putting someone in their place. Thinking more about privilege, we discussed how those with privilege want to maintain the status quo and those who don’t have privilege often want to change it. Here, too, we can see how suppressing anger can help those with privilege maintain their position. Anger could be used to upset the status quo, which is clearly not something those in power want to happen.

When someone is angry how do you respond?

Someone brought up the idea of a time-out and how it is a way that an adult in-charge directs a child’s emotions, often to get them under control before rejoining the group. This led to thinking about a mutual time-out, where the person in charge also needs to take a break in order to listen to what the angry person is saying and not merely discount them because of their anger. The key, we agreed, is to focus on the content of what the person said and not the tone in which it is said--to not “tone police.”

When you are angry, what do you do?

We talked about how we can use our anger in a positive way. One person quit a job when they realized how often they were angry even thinking about the job. Someone else said they tried to use a “screamy moment” to find insight and move forward. Another person talked about putting themself in a time-out and that this personal time-out can help direct their anger, but only after doing the solitary work necessary. One person spoke about finding better ways to channel their anger. They said that the challenge for them was to not just remain silent, but to use the anger to act—to use it for good. This continued our discussion on how anger can force us to do something. We also thought it useful to interact with someone who is angry, rather than try to silence them. The key here is to focus on understanding why the person is angry, and not on the anger itself.

We discussed anger as a process, where first you experience the emotion, then you learn from the moment, until you can act on your introspection. We need to incorporate a “stop and think” moment when we are angry to try to understand its core. We were all in agreement that we need to not suppress anger and to let it move us to speaking up and out.

Towards the end of our discussion, we circled back to how important it is to hold onto anger as a response to disrespect or prejudice on a societal level. It may not always be productive, but it is essential when challenging someone or pushing back against an injustice.

We ended with a great summation of the discussion of anger as a positive emotion: “It takes people out of the head and into the body.”